hello

As this is my first post, I feel it necessary to introduce myself.

My name is George Talley, I'm 20, I live in Knoxville TN, I was a high school star and a college dropout. Fuckin, life is just mystifying. I'm hoping that putting my thoughts out there will help me work through my thoughts, because I hate talking to myself. Maybe that's all that will come of this, but it's the possibility of feedback that's important.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I've been so stuck as an irresponsible, dishonest person for so long. I feel distant from everyone I know and it's been getting so much worse recently. I want to be cared for and trusted and loved and I don't know how to get that anymore.

But who am I to insist that people think I'm something special? All I've done is let people down for the past 2 years. I've been unemployed for the past two months, I live with my parents, I don't even have my own fuckin car. I am nothing I value. I can't keep a decent relationship going with anyone. I'm unreliable. I am unworthy of love, in my eyes. And I don't see a way for that to change. I have nothing I'm proud of.

Well, so far this is going nowhere. I'll try again tomorrow.

[EDIT]

Okay, I think I'm going about this all wrong.  Let's go over some more....... mundane things.

I need to be asleep right now.  I have to be awake in like, 5 hours.  Taking pictures and hiking all day tomorrow for Legacy Parks :P bluhhhh.  Oh well, I said I'd do it, I can't exactly back out now.

Loren and Emily are coming back!  They should actually be in any moment.  They were only gone a week but it feels like it's been forever.  Loren and I have known each other for ages (since we were like, 13 [I think.... somewhere in there]).  He's a painter, another one of my art school drop-out friends.  Stay tuned for more info on that cat, he's bound to come up again.  Emily is his girlfriend.  They met at SCAD and she moved up here this past summer.  They've got an adorable second-floor apartment in this house in 4th and Gill.   I was hoping to party with them tonight, but that's going to have to wait til tomorrow looks like.  They apparently brought back quite a posse: three other people AND a dog.  Sounds like a shit-tastic drive.  Well, we'll see how things go.

Okay, for reals now, I have got to go to sleep.  'Night!